"Flappings of fear, great wheeling shapes of dread,
Tremours and shudderings shook me on the way..."
--J Stanyan Bigg
"How to Outlive a Rapist
His living haunted like the dead.
Even after his actual death.
The carefree girl I was,
the woman I become, side by side
staring down at his gravestone.
All three of us no longer
wearing the same face.
Death cheated. We can’t
get his stain off our skin.
Every breath we take trembles,
leaves wind surfing an open grave.
We stopped screaming for daddy,
long after our throats gave out.
She stayed with him; I grew older.
Today, both of us are wearing
phantom black and blue
neckties in his dishonor.
The girl loosens her grip on me
and fades back in memory,
back to when she skipped along
railroad tracks, arms outstretched.
I miss her, that part of me
who never had a chance
to test her wings.
I want the pieces of her
buried with him,
to sing to him in his grave.
Everything that hurt us
becomes a ghost."
--@sageravenwood.bsky.social via
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