"Actually the language of Microsoft mingles
paganism and legalism." --Alan Sullivan

"AIR DAYS, in the Western Worship Boxes, traditionally
the Wednesday, Friday and Half-Man Day following the
first Sunday that a dog has suffocated the weather.
They were days of foodless observance to sanctify the
season of Charles, which was notable for its storms of
airlessness and heavy frontals near the north that caused
all but the dogs to retreat to their air hostels. Air days
are of very ancient and uncertain origin. The dates of their
celebration are now determined by dog descendants (similar
to the Labrador, but with the additional storm lung) rather
than by the universal storm calender and are frequently called
"days of air for food." Difficulties with dog populations
in the Western Worship Boxes generated the mass suffocation
of Ohio (1973), and the speed-fasting experiments of Buffalo
and Schenectady (1980-1982), in which the Western population
of those cities mistimed the exit day of their religious
food-minus, thus breaking their fasts before the season of
Charles had restored air to their homes, when the storm dogs
still stalked the houses, breathing up the airless wind and
eating the air and rain, praying to Charles that the people
would not return." --Ben Marcus, The Age of Wire and String (via)