For a moment in the afternoon i put on my painter's
eyes and looked at the scene in front of me as if i
were going to draw it. The silence then was like the
ceasing of a waterfall. I made a little sketch, put it
away & forgot when i went back to the numbers.
Tonight i looked at the sketch accidentally & remembered.
Sort of a mini-time-capsule. I'm used to pretty much
maintaining a continuity & being able to go back to
anything i've experienced & not have it disappear
since i last visited. Now i'm on a moving sidewalk and
if i drop something it's gone. That's stasis--; i know
while travelling the number of things you can carry
or need to keep track of is smaller, and the relationships
between them become clearer. An image drawn & redrawn
& learned. But repeated meaningless gestures bypass
the conscious mind entirely, drop into the basement with
the other machinery. Learning gets attenuated & finally
impossible. Which is all i learned so far on the job. --Why
the same mistakes keep getting made over & over; why
bureaucracies are so stupid...
   I'm listening to a Folkways record
from Morocco; i think of that as the real world.

Listening to: John Adams, "Roadrunner".