My usual mistake: assuming freedom instead of the reverse. Feeling instead of thinking (when i can't think i shouldn't get out of bed that day). wanting "to make a difference" = at least one penny in my heavenbank account. While, being real is the only way to make a difference (without "trying"--listening: yes). try to listen; and know when you're not, so as not to fake it. (Dogoodism that doesn't listen for consent, is faking it.)
  And finally: one avoids hedonism not to keep from having pleasures, but inorder to be ready to recognize joy. Likewise, one refrains from absolute (fatalistic) pessimism not to keep from knowing pain, but in order to recognize and understand sorrow. (Most pains are like flashes of sunlight off the top of water--you can't see into the depths then--.) The depths of sorrow include knowing how hatred of self and of truth is inseparable from affliction. (didn't i know that?--no; i was that--now i'm not...)
  Fortunate: someone who does not have to have a position on Affliction.

Artists were talking, and got into money wrangles. I said, "There is no good solution for the money problem in our time--each of us will have to find their own bad solution--let us talk about what we can do together..." but the game was complaining: and discourse is not a game.

"Post Modernism is the language of Hype people who have long wanted to invent something as ominous sounding as Non-Euclidean geometry..." --Anthony Hill

   "Jihad"

Now i'm in front of one more car:
only 100 million to go.

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