"The Recompense"

As unforeseen as sure,
and burning at our back.
Strangely beautiful
to carry what you keep.
This is the only fall.

It found us fast asleep
in front of the TV. Mean
and longing, lost between
and hardly even there
we reap the great mistake.

It is the war we make
our business, ever new
and falling into you;

the fate we can't believe
and stagger to receive.

To know it i'm not glad
but neither am i sad
to see the end of gladness
in blasting things, so i
myself flee by & by.


And what is it to face
the loss of any place?
I left here once & i
saw earth & sky go by
empty handed to give.

Empty of new surprise
we wander with haggard eyes
in ways where none may be
without their falling through.
Soon they will fall through me.


The ones i lost the most
in mist and smoke are made
fainter, and lost in shade
from here on out, inside
a whirlwind mystified.

Never again to break
and stretched no more between
the sky leaves a bloody wake
and litter enough to glad
crows in their garb of sad.

No fairy tales insure
our wonders coming back
and some were beautiful
but none of them would keep.
We hurtle, half asleep.

What do you think i mean
writing this shit between
customers while out there
dying proceeds, unfair
as always? I forget.

I set down my pen, face wet
knowing we haven't a prayer
denying our own despair
more than a poet can take
or out of it art make.

Leave it for someone new
maybe that pen's for you
in a day when none believe
or more than their share receive.
I release the gift & am glad.

Still on this night i'm sad
remembering what gladness
i had along the way,
places i'll never go--
and the rest of the crazy show,

Of such regrets we're made
hues of a grayer shade
will shoulder them aside
no longer mystified
that broken things can break.

I set out to walk between
a birth-wail & a wake
and don't know who'll be glad
when the last of us has turned sad.